Jeff made eight moves and scored 80
Week 3 belonged to the waiver wire, and the waiver wire did not love Jeff back. He made eight roster moves, more than anyone, and scored 80.98, the lowest score of the season so far. He lost to John by 65.5. He dropped a kicker who then scored 9 for a kicker who scored 1. He added Tre Tucker, dropped him, and added him again. Then Tucker sat on his bench.
The NFL took a few people down. The Giants lost Jaxson Dart for the season, and Jeff had already cut him. De'Von Achane left Miami's loss with a knee injury, which is Grant's problem. Jayden Daniels went down with an elbow injury again, which is Dan's. Kirk Cousins threw three touchdowns as the Raiders went 3-0, and he did it for Jeff, which is about the only thing that went right on the island.
Tristan is 3-0. Dan and Chris are 0-3. Grant finally won, and he beat Dan to do it. Zach has scored the most points in the league, 510.14, and he's 1-2. If Zach ever figures out the schedule, the rest of you are in trouble.
Scoreboard 5 games · tap a stat for the chart
Grant's first win
GrantCarawayGrant · 1-2
140.58
Gonna TetTee fuck GrantDan · 0-3
121.78
Grant is on the board. Drake London scored 28.4, Matthew Stafford 22.9 and Christian McCaffrey 21.6. He did leave 24.80 on the bench, including Harold Fannin's 24.1, the most of anyone this week. De'Von Achane left with a knee injury after scoring 1.7. A win is a win, Grant. Frame it.
Dan is 0-3. He picked up Geno Smith on Sunday morning and got 26.04 from him. He also swapped Tampa Bay's defense (5.0) for Green Bay's, which scored −2.0. He has now named his team after Zach, Corey and Grant and lost to all three. Gonna TetTee fuck Grant became Grant's first win of the season.
Benched the right QB, started the wrong one
CeeDanzNutz69Kevin · 2-1
162.24
Ayatollah Ka’imiCorey · 2-1
143.26
Kevin got 35.36 from Jaxon Smith-Njigba and 26.2 from George Kittle. His WR and TE group scored 92.96, the most in the league. He also swapped Denver's defense (14.0) for Cincinnati's (3.0). Kevin can afford mistakes. That's the CeeDanzNutz69 brand.
Corey started C.J. Stroud (11.68) and benched Bo Nix (25.14). He also cut Isaiah Likely, who'd averaged 18.05, for Dalton Schultz, who scored 6.0 on the bench. Zach claimed Likely on Thursday. Corey lost by 18.98 with 14.26 on the bench. He'll remember this one in Week 5.
3-0
troth19Tristan · 3-0
155.52
Just Joshin’ YaZach · 1-2
130.28
Tristan is the last undefeated team. Bijan Robinson scored 35.3, and the Houston defense, which scored −1.0 in Week 1, scored 13.0. He left Michael Wilson's 25.9 on the bench, which ended his perfect-lineup streak. Fine, Tristan. Nobody's perfect forever. Ask Week 6 Tristan.
Zach is 1-2 and leads the league in points with 510.14. His running backs scored 19.7, the least in the league. Josh Allen gave him 19.46. His all-play record is 19-8. His actual record is 1-2. His luck number is −1.11, the worst in the league.
Week high
Zach & Dan’s Sex SnuggieJared · 2-1
172.26
Sloppy SteaksChris · 0-3
144.50
Jared scored 172.26, the best of the week. Garrett Wilson scored 26.7, and Ja'Marr Chase and Tyler Shough added 24.8 each. Jared started the right quarterbacks this time. He did leave Davante Adams's 20.7 on the bench, because Jared can't help himself.
Chris is 0-3. He picked up Sam Darnold on Thursday, the QB Corey cut in Week 2, and got 29.66. Brock Bowers caught 10 passes for 116 yards and a touchdown, good for 27.6. Chris also left Juwan Johnson's 23.3 on the bench, started Justin Jefferson (5.2), and cut Jakobi Meyers, who scored 19.4 somewhere else. Sloppy Steaks: still accurate.
The island sinks
Gibb It To Me BabyJohn · 2-1
146.48
Jeffstein IslandJeff · 2-1
80.98
Jeff scored 80.98, the lowest score of the season so far. He made eight roster moves, the most in the league. He cut Cameron Dicker (9.0) for Trey Smack (1.0). He cut the Jacksonville defense, which scored 17.0, to make room for Kirk Cousins, who scored 22.22, his best move of the week. He added Tre Tucker, dropped him for Rashod Bateman (5.7, started), and re-added Tucker on Friday to sit him (8.3). Terry McLaurin scored 19.7 on his bench, and Drake Maye threw two interceptions and fumbled for 5.76.
John cruised by 65.5. Jahmyr Gibbs scored 41.4, the best in the league, and Brock Purdy added 31.28. John set a near-perfect lineup, leaving 3.10 on the bench. Gibb It To Me Baby, indeed.
The breakdown week 3 + season
Points scored vs. points left on the bench
Each team's actual score plus the points its best lineup would have added. No loser could have won with his bench this week. Grant left the most, 24.80, and won anyway.
ScoredLeft on bench
CeeDanzNutz69
162.24 +18.90
Zach & Dan’s Sex Snuggie
172.26 +5.30
Sloppy Steaks
144.50 +23.20
GrantCaraway
140.58 +24.80
Ayatollah Ka’imi
143.26 +14.26
Gibb It To Me Baby
146.48 +3.10
Just Joshin’ Ya
130.28 +7.30
Gonna TetTee fuck Grant
121.78 +9.20
Jeffstein Island
80.98 +18.54
Where the points came from
Week 3 starter points by position group. Kevin got 92.96 from WR and TE. John's running backs scored 65.20. Zach's scored 19.70, the least in the league.
QBRBWR/TEK/DEF
Zach & Dan’s Sex Snuggie
172.26
Gonna TetTee fuck Grant
121.78
Every week this season, by team
The orange dot is Week 3, and the dashed line is this week's league average of 139.79. Jeff and Zach posted their season lows. Grant and Chris posted their season highs, and only Grant won.
Earlier weeksWeek 3
Luck: actual wins minus expected wins
Jeff is 2-1 with an all-play record of 6-21. Zach is 1-2 with an all-play record of 19-8. Those two numbers are this league in a nutshell.
Zach & Dan’s Sex Snuggie
-0.22
Gonna TetTee fuck Grant
-0.67
Season bench of shame
Total points left on the bench through three weeks. Corey (71.12) and Jared (60.68) lead. Zach has left the least, 18.30, and is 1-2.
Zach & Dan’s Sex Snuggie
60.68
Gonna TetTee fuck Grant
40.60
Week 3 awards
Player of the weekJahmyr Gibbs · 41.4Gibb It To Me Baby (John). The best game in the league in a 65.5-point win.
Eight moves, 80 pointsJeffstein IslandJeff made eight roster moves and posted the lowest score of the season.
First winGrantCarawayGrant beat Dan by 18.8. Dan is 0-3.
Last unbeatentroth19Tristan is 3-0. Enjoy it.
Wrong QBAyatollah Ka’imiCorey started Stroud (11.68) over Bo Nix (25.14) and lost by 18.98.
Week highZach & Dan’s Sex Snuggie · 172.26Jared started the right quarterbacks for once.
Best record-to-points gapJust Joshin’ YaZach has the most points in the league and a 1-2 record.
Waiver wire report week 3
Missed adds
A missed add only counts if, over the weeks before, the free agent had averaged at least as much as the starter he'd have replaced, and Sleeper projected him at least as high that week. Hindsight doesn't count.
Nobody qualifies. The free-agent booms had no track record. Jacoby Brissett (25.6) had averaged 11.99, Aaron Rodgers (23.68) had averaged 8.76, and Kenyon Sadiq (23.5) had averaged 7.55.
Waiver winners
Sloppy Steaks · ChrisGrabbed Sam Darnold (29.66) and Matthew Golden (21.0). Both started. Chris still lost, but not because of these.
Gonna TetTee fuck Grant · DanPicked up Geno Smith on Sunday morning and got 26.04.
Just Joshin’ Ya · ZachSwapped New England's defense (−1.0) for Minnesota's (17.0) and Cairo Santos for Matt Gay (12.0).
Jeffstein Island · JeffKirk Cousins scored 22.22 the week Jeff claimed him. It's the one thing Jeff did right.
Waiver losers
Jeffstein Island · JeffEight moves. Cut Cameron Dicker (9.0) for Trey Smack (1.0). Juggled Tre Tucker three times and benched him. Scored 80.98.
CeeDanzNutz69 · KevinSwapped Denver's defense (14.0) for Cincinnati's (3.0). He won anyway.
Ayatollah Ka’imi · CoreyCut Isaiah Likely, who'd averaged 18.05, for Dalton Schultz, who scored 6.0 on the bench.
Gonna TetTee fuck Grant · DanSwapped Tampa Bay's defense (5.0) for Green Bay's (−2.0).
Grab these before Week 4
Aaron RodgersAdj 13.75
QB · PITWk 4 vs CLE
Neutral matchupCLE allows the 16th-most points to QBs (17.9 a game)
Sleeper proj 13.78Matchup-adjusted 13.75
Nobody bit. He scored 23.96 in Week 4. Then Dan grabbed him.
Jacoby BrissettAdj 15.84
QB · ARIWk 4 vs NYG
Neutral matchupNYG allows the 14th-most points to QBs (17.9 a game)
Sleeper proj 15.84Matchup-adjusted 15.84
Chris claimed him and got 13.44 in Week 4.
Kalif RaymondAdj 9.41
WR · CHIWk 4 vs NYJ
Tough matchupNYJ allows the 10th-fewest points to WRs (27.6 a game)
Sleeper proj 10.11Matchup-adjusted 9.41
Kevin claimed him. He scored 2.6 on the bench.
Kenyon SadiqAdj 8.74
TE · NYJWk 4 vs CHI
Tough matchupCHI allows the 7th-fewest points to TEs (8.3 a game)
Sleeper proj 11.00Matchup-adjusted 8.74
Nobody bit, and he scored 0.0 in Week 4. Good call, everyone.