Week 2 was the week the schedule started picking winners. Zach scored 178.58, the second-highest total in the league, and lost to Kevin's 186.46. After two weeks, Zach would be 17-1 if he played everyone every week. He's 1-1. Meanwhile, Jeff got 9.82 points from his two quarterbacks combined and won by 26.66.
The real NFL handed out its own damage. Caleb Williams hurt his hamstring late in Chicago's 9-3 loss to Minnesota, which is bad news for John. Jaxon Smith-Njigba caught three touchdowns, and Josh Allen ran for two more after throwing three. Patrick Mahomes threw for 382 yards in an overtime win over the Colts.
Chris scored 87.26, the lowest score in the league, and is 0-2. He made five roster moves this week, including swapping a defense that scored 12 for one that scored 1. Dan is 0-2, and his best lineup would have won by four hundredths of a point. Grant is also 0-2. Three teams are 2-0, and one of them is Jeff.
Scoreboard 5 games · tap a stat for the chart
Game of the week · two of the top three scores
CeeDanzNutz69Kevin · 1-1
186.46
Just Joshin’ YaZach · 1-1
178.58
Kevin's receivers went off. Jaxon Smith-Njigba caught nine passes for 155 yards and three touchdowns, good for 42.5, the best game in the league. CeeDee Lamb added 35.3, and Patrick Mahomes threw for 382 yards in an overtime win. Kevin also left Bryce Young's 24.08 on the bench, the same week he claimed him. Some weeks you can afford to.
Zach set a perfect lineup and scored 178.58. Josh Allen threw three touchdowns and ran for two more, good for 40.82. It would have beaten every other team in the league by at least 1.7 points. Zach drew the only one it couldn't beat. Just Joshin’ Ya? This one wasn't funny.
Dan left Stefon Diggs (21.7) on his bench and started Jadarian Price (5.0) and Rhamondre Stevenson (3.6). His best lineup was 138.64. Corey scored 138.60. Dan would have won by four hundredths of a point. He also swapped the Chargers defense (5.0) for Tampa Bay's (2.0). This week the team was Gonna TetTee fuck Corey. Two weeks, two names, two losses.
Corey picked up C.J. Stroud, the QB John cut before the season, and got 17.02. Amon-Ra St. Brown scored 35.2. DJ Moore scored −0.1. Corey is 2-0 and has left 56.86 points on his bench, the most in the league.
Tristan set his second straight perfect lineup. Dak Prescott scored 29.76, Jaylen Waddle 21.8 and Brandon Aubrey 17.0. Tristan is 2-0 and has left 9.40 points on his bench all season, the least in the league. Enjoy it, Tristan. It doesn't last.
John lost Caleb Williams to a hamstring injury late in Chicago's loss to Minnesota, and Williams gave him 8.72. Brock Purdy (28.48) and Dalton Kincaid (22.5) kept it respectable. Bhayshul Tuten scored 14.2 on the bench.
Jeff's quarterbacks, Drake Maye and Jaxson Dart, combined for 9.82 points. In a superflex league, that should lose. Jeff won by 26.66 because Jonathan Taylor scored 29.2 and Travis Kelce added 25.1. He also cut the Minnesota defense for San Francisco's. Minnesota scored 18.0, and San Francisco scored 9.0. He's 2-0 with the seventh-most points in the league.
Chris scored 87.26, the lowest in the league. He would have lost to every other team this week. He made five roster moves, including dropping the Rams defense (12.0) for the Chiefs (1.0). Justin Jefferson gave him 8.5. The Sloppy Steaks are 0-2, and the name is starting to feel like a scouting report.
Jared got 39.5 from Davante Adams, 29.78 from Jared Goff and 26.5 from Ja'Marr Chase. He scored 176.86, the third-highest total of the week, and won by 46.72. He still left Jake Ferguson's 20.3 on the bench. Every win has a footnote with Jared.
Grant is 0-2. Matthew Stafford (27.98) and Christian McCaffrey (22.6) showed up, but it wasn't close. This is the first of several weeks Grant will want back.
Each team's actual score plus the points it could have added with its best lineup. Dan is the only loser whose best lineup would have won, and only by 0.04. Tristan and Zach set perfect lineups, and only one of them won.
ScoredLeft on bench
CeeDanzNutz69
186.46 +17.00
Zach & Dan’s Sex Snuggie
176.86 +22.40
Just Joshin’ Ya
178.58 +0.00
Ayatollah Ka’imi
138.60 +10.90
troth19
143.86 +0.00
Gonna TetTee fuck CoreyBest lineup wins
115.84 +22.80
GrantCaraway
130.14 +7.34
Gibb It To Me Baby
117.30 +19.50
Jeffstein Island
113.92 +12.60
Sloppy Steaks
87.26 +7.90
04080120160200240
Where the points came from
Week 2 starter points by position group. Kevin got 106.10 from WR and TE. Jeff's quarterbacks scored 9.82, the least in the league, and his running backs carried him with 60.90.
QBRBWR/TEK/DEF
CeeDanzNutz69
186.46
Just Joshin’ Ya
178.58
Zach & Dan’s Sex Snuggie
176.86
troth19
143.86
Ayatollah Ka’imi
138.60
GrantCaraway
130.14
Gibb It To Me Baby
117.30
Gonna TetTee fuck Corey
115.84
Jeffstein Island
113.92
Sloppy Steaks
87.26
04080120160200240
Every week this season, by team
The orange dot is Week 2, and the dashed line is this week's league average of 138.88. Seven teams scored less than they did in Week 1. Kevin, Jared and Grant went up.
Earlier weeksWeek 2
Just Joshin’ Ya
CeeDanzNutz69
Zach & Dan’s Sex Snuggie
troth19
Ayatollah Ka’imi
Gibb It To Me Baby
Jeffstein Island
Gonna TetTee fuck Corey
GrantCaraway
Sloppy Steaks
80120160200
Luck: actual wins minus expected wins
Expected wins come from the all-play record. Jeff is 2-0 with an all-play record of 6-12. Zach is 1-1 with an all-play record of 17-1.
Jeffstein Island
+1.33
troth19
+0.67
Ayatollah Ka’imi
+0.67
Sloppy Steaks
-0.11
CeeDanzNutz69
-0.22
Zach & Dan’s Sex Snuggie
-0.22
Gibb It To Me Baby
-0.22
GrantCaraway
-0.44
Gonna TetTee fuck Corey
-0.56
Just Joshin’ Ya
-0.89
−2−1012
Season bench of shame
Total points left on the bench through two weeks. Corey (56.86) and Jared (55.38) lead. Tristan has left 9.40.
Ayatollah Ka’imi
56.86
Zach & Dan’s Sex Snuggie
55.38
Gibb It To Me Baby
41.30
GrantCaraway
32.24
Gonna TetTee fuck Corey
31.40
Jeffstein Island
30.10
CeeDanzNutz69
19.40
Sloppy Steaks
14.00
Just Joshin’ Ya
11.00
troth19
9.40
03060
Week 2 awards
Player of the weekJaxon Smith-Njigba · 42.5CeeDanzNutz69 (Kevin). Three touchdowns against Arizona.
Wrong opponentJust Joshin’ YaZach's 178.58 beats eight teams. He lost to the ninth.
Four hundredthsGonna TetTee fuck CoreyDan's best lineup would have won by 0.04. He's 0-2.
No quarterback neededJeffstein IslandJeff's QBs scored 9.82, and he won by 26.66.
Low scoreSloppy Steaks · 87.26Chris would have lost to every team in the league. His all-play record is 1-17.
Perfect twicetroth19Tristan set his second straight perfect lineup and is 2-0.
Waiver wire report week 2
Missed adds
A missed add only counts if, over the weeks before, the free agent had averaged at least as much as the starter he'd have replaced, and Sleeper projected him at least as high that week. Hindsight doesn't count.
Nobody qualifies this week. The big free-agent games came from players with no track record. The Carolina defense (26.0) had averaged 1.0. Dalton Schultz (26.0) had averaged 7.50, and Tre Tucker (22.9) had averaged 4.70.
Waiver winners
Ayatollah Ka’imi · Corey
Picked up C.J. Stroud, whom John cut, and got 17.02. The QB he dropped, Sam Darnold, scored 0.0 this week.
Sloppy Steaks · Chris
Jalen Coker (14.6) and Evan McPherson (12.0) both started and helped. It was not enough, but they helped.
CeeDanzNutz69 · Kevin
Bryce Young scored 24.08 the week Kevin claimed him. On the bench, but Kevin won anyway.
Waiver losers
Sloppy Steaks · Chris
Swapped the Rams defense (12.0) for the Chiefs defense (1.0) in a week he scored 87.26.
Jeffstein Island · Jeff
Swapped Minnesota's defense (18.0) for San Francisco's (9.0). Won anyway, as Jeff does.
Gonna TetTee fuck Corey · Dan
Swapped the Chargers defense (5.0) for Tampa Bay (2.0), then lost a game his bench could have won.
Just Joshin’ Ya · Zach
Cut kicker Tyler Loop (5.0) for Cairo Santos (4.0) the same week he lost a shootout.
Grab these before Week 3
Kirk CousinsAdj 14.16
QB · LVWk 3 vs NO
Neutral matchupNO allows the 14th-fewest points to QBs (16.1 a game)
Sleeper proj 14.82Matchup-adjusted 14.16
Jeff claimed him and got 22.22 in Week 3. Keep an eye on this one. It's going to get weird.
Dalton SchultzAdj 14.31
TE · HOUWk 3 vs IND
Great matchupIND allows the 5th-most points to TEs (18.9 a game)
Sleeper proj 11.77Matchup-adjusted 14.31
Corey claimed him and cut Isaiah Likely to do it. Schultz scored 6.0 on the bench.
Tre TuckerAdj 9.32
WR · LVWk 3 vs NO
Neutral matchupNO allows the 13th-most points to WRs (34.4 a game)
Sleeper proj 8.87Matchup-adjusted 9.32
Jeff claimed him, dropped him, and re-added him within the same week. Tucker scored 8.3 on the bench.
Rashod BatemanAdj 10.70
WR · BALWk 3 vs DAL
Neutral matchupDAL allows the 16th-fewest points to WRs (30.1 a game)
Sleeper proj 10.88Matchup-adjusted 10.70
Jeff again. Bateman started and scored 5.7.
Standings after week 2
1
troth19Tristan
2-0
12-667%
+0.67
302.74
240.36
151.37
WW
9.40
2
Ayatollah Ka’imiCorey
2-0
12-667%
+0.67
299.60
231.24
149.80
WW
56.86
3
Jeffstein IslandJeff
2-0
6-1233%
+1.33
249.94
218.72
124.97
WW
30.10
4
Just Joshin’ YaZach
1-1
17-194%
−0.89
379.86
316.88
189.93
WL
11.00
5
CeeDanzNutz69Kevin
1-1
11-761%
−0.22
315.36
348.14
157.68
LW
19.40
6
Zach & Dan’s Sex SnuggieJared
1-1
11-761%
−0.22
308.32
266.16
154.16
LW
55.38
7
Gibb It To Me BabyJohn
1-1
11-761%
−0.22
286.86
272.76
143.43
WL
41.30
8
Gonna TetTee fuck CoreyDan
0-2
5-1328%
−0.56
246.26
339.88
123.13
LL
31.40
9
GrantCarawayGrant
0-2
4-1422%
−0.44
245.54
337.86
122.77
LL
32.24
10
Sloppy SteaksChris
0-2
1-176%
−0.11
210.32
272.80
105.16
LL
14.00
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All-play is your record if you'd played every team every week. Luck is actual wins minus the wins that all-play record predicts. Bench left is points left on the bench all season. The dashed line is the playoff cut. Six teams make it, and ties are broken by points for. Three teams are 2-0, three are 0-2, and Zach is the best 1-1 team you'll ever see.